I’ve always thought the saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, to be quite fallacious. I believe we have all been hurt by words, some time, if not many times, and honestly, I think we might agree that words often hurt more than physical wounds; and I say this even having suffered some gruesome physical injuries over the years.
In my family, brutal honesty, and quickness to speak harsh words without first thinking, has been a trait that has survived generations to continue haphazardly down our family line.
Under these conditions, I have only been bred to be a fighter. Not to physically fight, but when it comes words, I have been given a gun, locked and loaded. I know how to fire my words, where to aim to hit my target the hardest. In my family, we are fragile beings, my limbs are lanky and thin, I could not withstand a physical fight, so I have been taught to defend myself with words.
I’m trying to reverse the pattern though, break the vicious cycle. Someone in my family should have done so a long time ago.
I still thank my family though, for they are the ones who have made me aware of the power of words. I am most aware of the power words have to hurt, so I know they must also hold an equal power to heal.
And to you, my readers, I am very selective and careful of the words I say to you. Most suprirsed that you read what I say, at all, but knowing that you do, I do not want to waste your time. Mostly, I hope to inspire. When inspiration is given to me, it is a gift, and I would selfish to only keep it to myself. I only have so much time in life, I want to make my words worth something, to make them good, or at least try to, even if I sometimes fail.
Now, I am wondering... What do you do when someone says something that hurts you? Do you get easily hurt by others' words, or do you tend to brush mean words away? What are some of the most inspiring or kind words you have been told in your life, that you can remember? Would most like to hear your thoughts on words, kind and cruel.
P.S. Thank you for all your kind words you have given me. For all the comments and thoughts you have shared with me, I am inspired once again, and always, very thankful.
Photo Credits: www.flickr.com/photos/juliptulip & www.flickr.com/photos/highwaygirl67
Title Quote: Mother Theresa.
56 comments:
Your words are powerful. Very well thought through and written. I respect your thoughts and narratives. You do make me reflect a lot which is a good thing really.
I do get easily hurt by words more so than others. Gullible some might call me as well. :) I try to get over quickly. Tell myself i'm old enough now. No big deal but it's never easy. I think you know what I'm talking about.
"I do not want to waste your time speaking only of frivolous things."
This is truly commendable, however, each persons perception of what is frivolous will vary. Your loyal readers would not stick around long if they thought your writings were frivolous.
Which brings me to the next point...some people will say mean things regardless of your desire to be kind. If you plan on doing anything great in life, there will undoubtedly be opposition. So, what do we do? Develop thick skin!
It is easy to feel good when we receive praise but this can be equally as deceiving. Hence the saying "A man is tested by the praise he receives".
I believe the best thing is to just continue to follow your heart, learn to not be moved by peoples words, and stay true to yourself and your calling. Not to say this is easy, but it's better than allowing others to dictate your emotions.
Wow, good thing I had my coffee for this post! :)
xoxo
Cara Mia
I love your thoughts. Words are so powerful. I find that hurtful words do not physically harm me, but I in turn will physically harm myself from those words...place myself in harm's way because of some hurtful thing...or at least when I was younger it was so.
I'm trying to restrain my own caustic tongue. My family is loving, but my tongue and head move a bit too quick sometimes and I can verbally dessimate those who offend me, but at the end of the day, self-restraint is better. I'm trying to not burn bridges.
Good luck with your goals.
You write so amazingly, and your posts always get me thinking.
I get easily hurt by words. Too easily perhaps. I can recover from a phsycial pain, but word pain? Not so much.
<3
Much love darling, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend x
okay...Now if you want.. go back to the post and stand up from your chair.. step away from the monitor a little and squint. you should see the face of a certain/famous actress!
I admire your writing so much.
Under these conditions, I have only been bred to be a fighter. Not to physically fight, but when it comes words, I have been given a gun, locked and loaded. I know how to fire my words, where to aim to hit my target the hardest. In my family, we are fragile beings, my limbs are lanky and thin, I could not withstand a physical fight, so I have been taught to defend myself with words.
I think we have that in common - I'm better with words too. I'm kind of a trouble-avoider, but when I do have to fight I always know how to hit people in the right place - with words. But mostly I keep them to myself, because I'm really afraid of hurting people, even when I don't like them.
I do not want to waste your time. Mostly, I hope to inspire. - I think you've accomplished that already :)
Thank you for your kind comments
your words are amazing1you put the words nicely!
it is so sweet and touching!
What a wonderfully inspirational quote; and so true!! :)
Double YAY! for shared taste ♥ ...
I suck at doing hair too. I miss my hairstylist, she did this incredible one for my Wedding. This glorious up 'do. But ever since moving away.. :( wow, I really miss her... How lucky to have a skilled sister to help you with yours though! :) That's quite fun, no?
Aw, the song does make the commercial that much sadder. Aw. I cry so easily, I'm known for it around here... :/
Off to get some furniture accessories, towels and maybe some tights! :) Have a fab weekend, dear. =)
xo/ fashion chalet
Great post, and I like posts where people ask for others opinion on stuff like this.:)
For me, yes it can hurt very much when someone says hurtfull things, BUT.. it only gets to me when I actually care for the person and they mean alot to me (e.g. a bf, siblings or parents). Otherwise I'm pretty ok at brushing it off.
If a stranger/co-worker/schoolmate says something hurtful, it sticks in my mind, but only for a while.
Thank you! Yes i play hockey. and today we won :)
I really enjoy your blog. Powerful. xx
very well written, its so easy to say kind things--it don't cost much--but again, not everyone says kind words no matter how sweet you try to me--thats why as human we develop thick skins
very inspirational writing :)
have a fab weekend!!!
Thank you, I know what you mean. Though buttoning something wrong isn't that big of a deal, I think that more people should "take the leap."
What do you do for work?
So well written - words are such a powerfull weapon - you should use them right!
it seems that sometimes saying something sweet is the most difficult thing to do because it kinda makes you vulnerable!
me again, thanks dear, I will love to trade links with you--any rules!!
ps: I have links you :)
xoxo
Totally agree with what you said on my blog - It is worth being vulnerable!
x
I do the same here, it much easier because it tells me when each blog was updated last!!! :)
I use the "Blog list"
**go to add Gadget
**Blog list
**Set to 'date of last update'
hope that helps :)
xoxo
ahhh words. they seem so natural and unimportant, but its all we have. its our voice into this world, so we should handle them with care.
your words render me speechless. everytime.
they are inspirational. loving. passionate and kind.
I WISH a better word for THANK YOU existed!!!
i only try to emit kind words. i hate negative words. what good can they do?
words that i love:
passion... truth... beauty... devotion... bliss... inspire...blessing... gift... desire... salvation... mercy... and i could go on and on.
thanks for such a bountiful post.
you were given the gift of words s-c. and you are inspiring people with them... so continue on your journey.
* hmmmm think about the bangs :) it might be a nice change for the winter.
sending all my love + blessings.
x.
S-C dear...
Thank you for your kind words...hope I get better soon too sweetie. It's all abt choices; I choose to bless instead of curse, life instead of death, peace instead of war, healing instead of wounds... guess it takes time to heal & the 'sacr' might still be there... I choose the 'F' word always... FORGIVENESS!!! ...so there; choices to choose... it' all about our freewill really...
Lovely weekend to you dear... blessings as always*
Sweet and amazing Susanne...you should know your words are truly inspiring, they come right from a beautiful and big heart and they always touch me and i think they will always do that.
You must be such a special girl, i can only imagine...
Again, the photographs and the words are amazing(ly) (combined) and also again....i recognise so much in what you said about your family and about learning the value and strongness of words.
Thanks love, for everything.
Mila <3
oops...typo!!!
I 'choose' to correct it hee!
'scar' & not sacr???
hee-hee*
I was really blessed by this post! It resounds wisdom from experience and I admire you for wanting to break the vicious cycle. It really is a struggle to refrain from saying catty words (you know how girls are), but I agree that we must really try to only say things that are uplifting.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29)."
I wish to encourage you to keep up with your inspirational posts, it may not seem like much but the thoughts you share really impact readers (look at the replies!;p). Just like how kind words' echoes are truly endless, so are your reflections in the minds of the people who come across your posts.
Love how you put together the word and the photos, everything perfectly complements each other! :)
♥ R
I still thank my family though, for they are the ones who have made me aware of the power of words. I am most aware of the power words have to hurt, so I know they must also hold an equal power to heal.
This line gave me such chills, it reminds me of the same values and principles my parents gave to me when I was growing up and still stick with me now. As everyone has a trigger that can draw powerfully hurtful words, it's always best to think about the other persons story before saying something that could quite possibly damage them. Beautifully written, my dear. Bless you!
Oh and to respond to your comment, yes I used to be in the fashion industry. I worked with a Philippine fashion magazine, Preview, and I absolutely loved it! I was an editorial assistant which meant I did pages: get topic approved, pull out merchandise from stores, style and shoot the products (sometimes on models), and then do the text for the page. It is wonderfully stressful and fun. haha ;p I have also assisted in cover shoots and editorials, which are always very interesting. I left the magazine to study for a bit (I'm looking into moving to NY to take classes there too!). :)
my charger is now in a cast (made up completely with Scotch tape), to keep the wire from twisting around and to keep it positioned at the very precise right angle. Otherwise it goes pffft.
thanks for asking and will post that editorial soon!
♥ R
Another fantastic post! I definitely agree, wounds heal but words can stay with you forever. I've had people say positively awful things to me from years ago which I will never forget. But I've found that those who give out the negative comments are also the ones with the lowest self-esteem and self-confidence and I don't think they're qualified to be judging people so harshly, when they're obviously not comfortable in their own skin.
I'm physically pretty small and fragile so I use words as a weapon too. I don't think I've ever initiated a battle of words, but I can definitely defend myself though I choose to leave the petty name calling at home and wield my intelligence instead (or what little of it I have!) Not a good thing to do but I think we all have an instinctual urge to 'protect our honour'
I love the idea of your blog so much. Every single picture here is truly perfect.
when someone hurts me (which rarelly happens cuz I'm very cold)I just try to turn it around and pretend t didn't.
This might sound weird and not true but I kind of have trained my self with a protective anti word shield around me, which is pretty tough to get through.
but then agian my life is so dull and dramaless that stuff like that barely occurs.
i really love this, and i really love your blog. :)
excellent choice of words and photos!
love ur blog.
Hun, i get extremely elated when i hear i have not disgusted all my readers away with my underarm uncouthness! :P
I see so much in you. Every single post you've made is like reading an exerp from my own diary. I can relate so honestly and rawfully the words you talk of.
Words are incredibly important to me. I always think before i speak and i've reiterated so many times to friends/family/boyfriends that they must always be careful with their words as you can never take them back.
I am a very emotional person. Most noticeably spurred by harsh or untruthful words.
Libraries closing! Argh gtg
I agree, words are very powerfull. I had this one time when I told a boy the meanest thing I ever could, and he reacted by hitting me in the face. I allways felt that it was fine afterwards, cause even if he did me alot of harm, I hurt him so bad, by confronting him with the truth behind his lousy acions.
I believe in compliments, so I try to have this rule to give everyone I meet a compiment of the day. It allways lighten people up a bit.
The nicest thing anyone ever told me I'm not sure about. But I like it when it goes under my skin ad shos that this person like my for qualities that might not show on me.
Brilliant text, you make us think and wanna leave long comments.
Oh yes. Words can hurt so much more than physical pain.
I often speak harshly without thinking, even though my words weren't meant to hurt. But then again, I have the biggest conscience in the world and I have a bad coscience until I've apologized. I think about things too much, how someone could have got the words I said... I'm a girl, you know ^^
Like in your family, my family is a family of speakers too. They love to discuss, argue, and sarcasm is just in our genes. I am very quick with my word, sometimes make fun of people but I don't MEAN it, I doubt if I could take it very well if someone made fun of me though (the others don't dare haha ^^ No, I try to make fun of myself myself).
My aunt - my dad's brother's wife - always says: This family is horrible, they make fun of everyone and everything.
And you are right, words can not only hurt, but heal too.
However sarcastic I am, I know where the limit is and I know how not to overstep the mark.
I like your blog very much. It's very deep and I like to read it.
those are lovely pictures...
and you have a very deep and amazing blog..
xoxo
Lovely pictures and interesting blog!...
Thanks for inspiration.
I'll certainly look at your blog.
Quadruple (YAY!) for shared taste, then! ;) LOL......
I was enamored by Natalia for an Italia Vogue spread she did a few years back, I forget the title of the editorial, but she looked absolutely stunning!! :) + Thanks for the comment/compliment on my collage, dear! ♥
Wedding photos....
1- http://i38.tinypic.com/qskw1c.jpg
2- http://i34.tinypic.com/10hrm1l.png
I wish I had an older sister,I would raid her closet!! :D
We ended up getting (tights, for me! yay!) Some statues, paintings (one of Audrey!!!!) and some pretty frames. Today, we're heading out to BB&B for more. We have some leftover wedding gift certs. Then we're off to visit some family for keylime pie, tonight!
Hope your weekend is going well, sweetie! :)
xo/ fashion chalet
" You are beautiful, in every single way, words can't bring you down " :)
I know how it feels. Sometimes I go to school, I get hurtful remarks & all. But honestly, it is my life. I live for myself only. People just have nothing else better to do! :)
So don't ever let words bring you down alright? It is hard, but we are all here! :D
Good for you, S-C! So many people are careless with their words and cause unnecessary hurt. Here's to turning over a new leaf! Gorgeous photos, inspiring words, per usual.
xoxox,
CC
Grerat post. Words do hurt alot. I try to brush it off but somtimes its hard when a person I care about says it
Thank you for sharing your own personal story. Firstly, you are a truly gifted and eloquent writer, and you bring up a topic which has a lot of bearing on my life.
My mother sounds as if she would be able to hold her own in your family. She is incredibly beautiful, yet as cold as a person can be. She knows exactly what to say to pierce a person into the bone and heart, yet she is not an easy person to hate. Or love, for that matter.
There is always an inexorably twisted relationship between mothers and daughters, and that certainly hold true for my mother and myself. I suppose i have learned to just brush words away, and to pretend as if they don't matter, if when they really do break my bones.
One of my most favorite quotes is by President Roosevelt: "Speak softly but carry a big stick".
I suppose this can be interpreted in numerous ways, however i perceive it to be a type of anthem in my own life.
Really interesting and thorough post; your words are powerful, as Songy said.
I used to be easily hurt by words, but now I have learned to brush them off, tell myself that what the person thinks isn't important. And to tell myself that it's so, so important to remain true to myself.
To not change for anyone else, to not change to fit in, to not change because someone wants to mold you into whatever they want you to be.
I've encountered each of these situations, but managed to overcome them and develop a thick "hide". (Or, as some people would say, 18 inch armor).
I was touched by your words, and this post really made me think!
xoxo,
Tina {Your Everyday Style}
I think that the thought you put into everything your write really transcends beyond mere words one a blog. Seriously, its more like hearing someone speak instead of just reading somebody wrote. Which is a gif in itself, cause Ive read many books by people who write in such a way that it all passes through my head no matter how interesting their subject is. :-)
As for your question. I think the quote from that one princess movie "courage is not the absence of fear". I always tell myself that when I feel a little weak. :-)
Another great post! What you say is always so true and anyone can relate to it.
I have to say, I am a bit shy towards people I don't know so well. So when I'm with 'strangers' I tend do just shut up, and sometimes you get hurt. Not always by words, but I feel hurt when something has to be done or so and people haven't thought of you, they don't take you into account.
On the other hand, when I'm with people I know very well I sometimes say stuff that I regret the moment it comes out of my mouth... But I'm working on that ^-^
Brilliant post...this meant a lot to me...I find it really hard to brush aside the words that people say. I'm quite sensitive in that way. I need to develop a thicker skin.
awesome photos!
Wow, what a post :) You're a gem.
Your family and their behavioural/communication patterns sound a lot like my family. I too made a conscious decision to break the cycle but not before I had fired a few brutal words myself...Like you, I knew only too well how to be cruel.
Luckily for me, with a lot of work on my part, I grew up to be the complete oposite of my family. I try really hard to be kind and do the right thing and I enjoy uplifting others. Sadly, I've discovered that some folk will mistake kindness for weakness and try to take advantage etc but when I find myself interacting with people like that, I still don't change. I'd rather be soft than mean and cruel :)
words can sometimes hurt more than physical wounds. wounds might heal in time but words leave scars emotionally. i always try to thank people for even the smallest gesture b/c it shows appreciation and respect to the person.
Such a well written and thoughtful post.
You truly blow me away every time, with your words and the amazing pictures you find.
I fight with words too. But I'm strange, sometimes words will really hurt me, and sometimes they don't affect me at all.
But I'm strange!
You know, I can't think of any inspiring or kind words! How awful!
On a lighter note, you made me laugh out loud at your comment about suing the balloon people.
Luckily for the balloon people I am very lazy so I will probably not do anything!
Also I am glad I make you laugh out loud awkwardly in public spaces. Because I think that the best laughs you can have are when you are really trying not to!
I feel like crying really! I sometimes feel so out of place in our house because they all seems to be strong and I'm the fragile one.
this is so beautiful.x
I tagged you.
i think that everybody gets hurt by the words more than they do in some kind a physical way, more so if the "words" come from someone you love (family, friend, lover...).
maybe i have a wrong vision, but it seems to me that someone hurt u as you were writing this post?
im so soft on words, i play to be like "words dont affect me" type, but they do, a lot...
but maybe, we are concetrating on bad words too much, maybe we should remember positive ones... we often forget the positive when we hear something negative...
and talking and experience is always a help. at least a small one.
forgot to write this: beeing honest does not mean that a person has the right to be rude...
ok :) im done!
your blog is beautiful, -wow i am speechless
it's so true.
you cant take back what you have said.
words are so powerful.
to fight with words is much more intelligent than physical fighting.
the hardest to take would be subtle attacks as no one else would understand them.
i am a first time visitor. Really enjoying your posts with the inspirational words and pictures. will be back to read more!
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