Most of us have lost someone we have loved. I don't mean a loss only to death, though that is sometimes so, but often equally painful is when someone we love abandons us, leaving us out of their life which we may have once been a great part of.
When someone leaves us, our instinct may be to wish we'd never known them at all. Perhaps they do not even leave us, as in physically abandoning us by distance, but rather they might betray us, or turn their back on us.
We do not own one another though, we are all individuals, people, and not objects available for ownership by other human beings. We most often choose to befriend, be near, and love another.
In life people will always come and go. This does not mean we should cease to love and care for any one else, even though they may leave us still. If you have someone who loves you, or many at that, you are blessed. Treasure the time you have with those you love and who are in your life now, for they may not always be there.
For any one who has ever left me, they given me invaluable gifts: memories, inspiration, knowledge, laughter, and love. They have left me with a piece of them, and I hope, I have left them with a part of me, as well, so that we are connected still, touching from a distance.
Has anyone every left you? Have you ever had a close friend betray you or turn their back on? If you've ever been betrayed, were/are you bitter, did/do you seek revenge for the way they hurt you? Have you ever been the one to leave someone else? How do you justify leaving someone else, do you think in certain situations, it's OK? Other thoughts?
Photo Credits: http://nearerthemoon.livejournal.com & http://marciosimnch.com & http://community.livejournal.com/foto_decadent
56 comments:
great that you were able to watch that clip. I hope it didn't make you chock. :)
I think all relationship can go through that - leaving and getting back together. I don't believe in all giving or all taking. All healthy relationships seem to have both giving and taking in all different ways. If it's not balanced it is not likely to last for a long time. Then you move on. That's what happened to me in most cases. Of course, I moved around a lot that creates location issues. I have friends all over the world and I don't get to see them for years but the friendship remains (hopefully).
i believe it is wise to leave a relationship if it is harmful. for example, when a friend or lover is verbally or physically abusive, it's time to break away. it's not always easy, but the consequences of staying in that relationship could be far worse.
choosing who you spend your time with is also extremely important. essentially, we take on some of the characteristics of those we hang around with. i think it's better to be around positive people than those who will drag you down.
cara mia :)
Wow, such passion, I don't think I've betrayed anyone that I know of, I've never had a serious relationship so I would know about that either. sorry.
The only person I've lost is perhaps my grandma who died when I was about 8. that's it.
nice post
I dont like the void that I feel whenever someone leaves or passes away. Ive never been betrayed by a friend ever (thank goodness) and I hope I havent made anyone feel betrayed as well. :-)
Great post!
This post has such eerie timing. I suppose I'll explain more in a post I have planned for next week,
but
idk.
I just love the way you have worded all this, it's though prokoving.
<3 Hope your having a great weekend
That first photo is so heartwarming. What a lovely topic and post, my dear!
xo/ fashion chalet
Wow this post almost made me cry! You find the loveliest and most relevant images, S-C. Bravo.
xoxox,
CC
I admire you so much! You make us think, but you do so with such style! x
Great post. I'm still trying to figure out how to move past several people "leaving" my life. I use quotes because they're still a part of it, just not in the same way as before. When my parents divorced I struggled with making amends with my dad and wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. Luckily, I was able to get past it a bit and try to see his side of things, but I don't I'll ever agree with the way he went about it.
That along with my first boyfriend are the two most important relationships that have been changed and where I've had to figure out what to take from it.
This is definitely one of the biggest challenges in life because to attain happiness we have to accept that change is the one constant in life. I am going through one of the toughest changes in my life right now, but really understanding this helps. If we can let go of our need to control when things arrive and depart from our life it will really help.
Thanks for your comments, and I am glad you are starting to vote from the beginning of your eligibility. You are truly wise beyond your years and I always look forward to reading your thoughtful posts.
Nobody really close to me has left me (by this I mean dying) - and I'm kinda scared about the way I would deal with that when it happens.
On friendships and loved-ones, I'm really selective in the people who get to know me close by heart. And I must say no really bad feelings - I mean if you loved them onces, you can't totally hate them now.
that's a beautiful and touching post.
A few years ago, I've had someone close to me (what do they call it - "BFF") turn their back on me. It's like the worst smack in the face. I tried to accept it, but the truth is I was bitter.
It got better once I dared to open up to new people, who somehow restored my faith in good friendships.
I'm still trying to figure it out though.
xxoo
very beautiful photos!
Beautiful thoughts my dear. I discovered your page through the Free People blog, actually, from a post where they featured you.
For me leaving goes both ways. I have left and been left, and it's still hard to pinpoint how I truly feel about it all. I've seen the passing of close ones as well. The awful thing is someone can "leave" you although you still see them every day. That I still haven't figured out how to cope with.
I think everyone has experienced this , or will eventually. I had some friends from when I was little and the more we grew up, the less we were talking with each other. I guess we all went our different ways... But sometimes I regret that. And if I see one of them I don't know what to say to them and I sometimes just pretend I don't see them, and I know that's kind of rude, but it's just because I'm too shy to say something. Stupid actually because we never had a fight or so, but it just grew that way and now I can't even talk to them anymore silly huh?
Wonderful post as always!
I'm afraid I've done a lot of leaving in the past (and the present). I always find that some friendships I form become toxic to me i.e I get taken advantage of, the people become bad influences, etc. So I just cut them out of my life completely and that's that. I don't really feel any form of emotional attachment to them. I don't feel resentment either, it's as if they never existed in the first place. Isn't that sad?
I did have one major betrayel from somebody about 10 years ago when I was still in High School which basically turned everyone against me. But at the time, I took it as an opportunity to break free from the negativity that these people were breeding. Now if I ever see them, I always feel a sense of triumph - I have grown and matured while they're still stuck with their old narrow-minded views.
babe, so sorry for whatever brought on this entry.
I have been fortunate enough not to truly lose anyone to besides my grandfather, and even him, in due time.
All other people who've come in and out and I've missed, later in life I've realized we always come full circle and somehow the reason for our separation becomes clear.
Much like my previous boyfriend - we broke up because of long distance, and soon enough I fell madly in love with someone with whom I didn't have to worry about prolonged physical separation and came to appreciate that so much more.
WOW all of these photos are so absolutely stunning! <3
Thank you SO much for sharing!
I would say that I think you should leave a relationship when it is no longer good and it starts to hurt other aspects of your life. Though, I am not one to talk... I have been in an unhealthy relationship and felt 'guilty' leaving. I still don't know why I stayed in it so long.
I've been very fortunate now, however, my current boyfriend and I have the most relaxed relationship and it's enabled the rest of the things in my life, (family, work, hobbies, etc.) to blossom.
<3 hope you have a lovely weekend darling!
Cool photos. I really like the first one.
I love backs, therefore I love the second picture...
you are great :)
my s-c.
you truly touched my heart with this... I've lost the most important angel in my love and she is with me every single minute of every. single. day. These are such beautiful images and I'm truly at a loss for words about losing someone so close to you. someone so imbedded in your heart + life...its hard. i don't know what to say...
OKAY my love. your commmmmmment. ah how do i respond???? seriously. you have to start writing single word comments ;) I am not worthy of such kindness + words. I'm not.
i love how you looked up inspiring...you're too funny.
YES! You got my name (well nickname) so right. It is pronounced LEESE- but usually spelled "Lis" or "Lise" but people would pronounce it horribly. Its exactly how Bart Simpson calls Lisa Simpson "Lis".... thats actually how I got the name. FROM my brother :) Growing up he watched simpsons regiously.... so from then on he's only called me Lis.
well my beautiful girl. I'm off to work on Excel! AHHHHHHHHH.
i hope you're having a lovely weekend.
ps- any thoughts on the bangs ;)
x.
ps- thanks for this post. it truly touched my heart...
Gosh these pictures are dreamy!
ahhh yes. I totally lost my best friend this year.
totally betrayed by. You see she had another best friend, and she was always trying to keep us apart, and then one day it occured to me, that she must be hiding something or have a reason for us not wanting to hang out.
so we caught up, and realised all the horrible things and lies she had been saying about us to the other one.
absolutely awful crazy lies.
i'm still really bitter about it.
Didn't get revenge as such, as i would never stoop myself down to her immature level. But have become really close to her other best friend, which I'm sure would drive her insane.
She is desperately trying to get us to hang out all of a sudden now, when before she was too cool for us!
anyways. Im sure she still checks my blog as well, so will see how much fun I am having WITHOUT her.
Hooray.
What a beautiful post. My Nana died recently so it's certainly a topic close to my heart. Thanks for reminding me to focus on the good times :)
Oh Susanna, this one tore at my heart. This year i broke up with a long term boyfriend and have just had a huge fight with a very close flatmate on an annoyingly senseless thing.
Painful painful but you are right in saying invaluable life lessons are learnt from the experience. As a result i've grown more insightful, thoughtful and compassionate.
*sigh* I must leave for i think i'll start crying if i think too much :(
Beautiful post thpough :)
Wow, brilliant post. Those photos are really beautiful!
that was just what i am thinking. many people have betrayed me. but i havent. of course i have left sme boyfriends.with reason. so guess i am guilty too,somehow..i donno. but i never have left any friend behind or backstabbed. but quite few have done it to me. i am easy tartget. i am so fragile,i love easily,
Oh I forgot to tell you this in my comment, but I linked you on my blog ^-^
......
This made me cry.
You tell things so beautifully. You are so right about remembering other people don't belong to us. We must be grateful to have (had) them in our lives and the beautiful memories we have from our relationships with them.
It's true, although it's sometimes hard to always remember this and never act like people are yours.
Sometimes you can feel so lonely in this big world, that you want to hold on to people, afraid that they disappear and you stay behind alone.
I am going through quite a rough period at this moment, so that's why this post from you is extra touching and confronting to me.
Thanks, dear! <3
(Hope to speak to you soon on msn, i'll be online in about 4 hours when i return from my parent's place...)
really great pictures that go well with the words cosen to go with them. Many people in my life have left me, including myself leaving people. I deifnitly think in certain situations its okay, but in others- it is just ridiculous, cowardly, and upsetting.
I LOVE YOUR BLOG. Completely inspirational. There is not one photo on here that doesn't spark my emotions/creativity. Definitely added on my list of blogs to check daily. :)
i loved those photos!
i haven't had anything of the sort happen to me yet; no relationships (a bit pitiful i do admit lol).
PS- I have seen you on Chictopia, no?
i love this blog.
As you know, I have lost someone very dear to me, my Mama. If there's anything loss has taught me, it is to love even more fiercely because we never know how long someone will love us--whether he or she chooses to leave or life chooses to take them away.
Such haunting images. You have such a beautiful eye.
losing someone can be hard especially if you find that person to be irreplacable.
I love the braids the girl in the middle has in the 3rd picture...
pure gorgeous.
I don't like when the way I feel when people i care about leave, but the memories are priceless.
Its still difficult to deal with the loss of my grandma 7months ago, but I forever cherish her memories :)
great post hun, you always have such passionate topics.
hope you had a fabulous weekend S-C
xoxo
Stella
i missed your articles...i was very busy and i didn't have internet!
anyway, i read all your posts, but i didn't have time to comment!
you touch my heart everytime!
i will answer to all your questions in this way:yes, someone left me, the most painful though was when i left myself;i turned my back on what i thought was good and i was betrayed!
i left someone...and i did it because my place wasn't there and because i didn't want to leave myself again!
coming back soon!be happy my dear:)
I worry I am constantly the leaver...being a military brat I move every three years. I don't know what it is like to have a long friendship, let alone relationship with someone...
thanks for the comment :)
Sure, I'd love to be included in your blog roll - even though my blog isn't half as interesting as yours! but it's up to you of course, I don't mind :)
very thoughtful post. i wish i'd thought to express these thoughts like this because i know exactly what you mean. i'm glad that i still have pieces of everyone left with me but i do always wonder if i ever meant as much to them.
your blog is lovely, i've linked you, and i'm glad to have come across it. new daily read :)
Unfortunately, I have been betrayed by a friend, and it hurts pretty bad. The only thing I can do is let it go as I ultimately have no control over other people's actions. Right now, so many of my close freinds are not even in the same country as me, it does get pretty lonely, but i think I have a pretty strong sense of self :)
You have such thoughtful posts, keep it up!
wow i love your blogggg
you should check out mine
fashionalertblurt.blogspot.com
maybe we can exchange links...
:]
ash
Another extremely thoughtful and touching post.
I think all relationships do have their ups and downs. I definitely have gone through rough patches with friends and family.
There have been many times in my life when people have left or betrayed me. I used to want to seek revenge, but then I realized that being a vengeaful person is not healthy. Often I try to realize the reasons and causes behind everything and try my best to either get over it and patch up things.
Or sometimes, it is simply jealousy. I try my hardest, but occassionally I just cannot help being a little jealous. I tell myself to be happy for him/her, but I just can't accept the fact that it's happening.
Again, lovely post. Made me think a lot about my life, and things that have happened in the past.
Beautiful pictures, too.
xoxo,
Tina {Your Everyday Style}
Hi! First off, I love your blog!! :) I tagged you on mine, please check it out! Can't wait to read yours because you write so beautifully and find the best pics to go along with it!
What a lovely post, I love the last picture!
I posted the topic of toxic friendship before... I avoid any grudges & choose the 'F' word forgiveness. Through it all, life is all about lessons learnt. Amen!
Lovely new week to you dear!
Sorry, but your 'guessinggame' is incorrect dear, u may try again if u wish...hee* No rules here in Lenorenevermore Land!
I awarded you dear, because i love your blog so much!
Visit my blog to see the award.
Hope you like it!
<3
Mila.
Love those pics! amazing post. Love your blog, by the way
I love this song from the Flaming Lips, it says something like: "Do you realize, that everyone you know someday will die?"
When we really realize that, we value every second with our loved ones... and at the same time, we detach from them, making the inevitable goodbye a lot easier...
I had a very good friend turn their back on me for no reason really but it was a good life lesson because after she left, I didn't miss her and it made me realize that people leave your lives for a reason. She wasn't adding to it and only brought drama. I've continued to live my life without her and am glad to say that I'm happy that she was in my life at one point but I'm happy that she is no longer in it.
i actually had someone, not someone but a very close friend betrayed me recently. what is recently, 2 months ago. but i still think of it so it feels like it was today. what did i do. i decided that the smartest thing sometimes in not to do anything, no revenge not anything. i dint react, i just moved on(even if i still about it).
that kinda a person does not deserve a place in my life at all.
think* (is missing:)
I've been betrayed years go and it felt like everything came crashing down. I was in a skewed world where everything felt wrong. I was bitter for some time, but by God's grace I overcame it. I read a line somewhere that read like this: "Bitterness binds you to the people you hate." And I realized that I just wanted to let go of all the anger and bitterness.
Your welcome! I'm glad you liked the editorial :)
Great post, as always. and amazing pictures!
♥ R
A lot in life is realized in loving someone, and a lot in love is realized by leaving someone.
-haley stewart
i have left a person whom i dearly loved with all my heart at that time. she was my best friend but i really didnt imagine that she would backstab me and do so many things that hurt me. however, God has told me to forgive her and i have. and by doing that. i have forgiven myself. in a way..
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