This morning, at thirty six minutes after ten o’clock, I changed my life with a firecracker-like initiation of reckless ambition. I did what my parents unwaveringly warned me against, what, I even doubted, I’d ever have the nerve to do. I staked my life in a risk; I just quit my job, without even a solitary prospect of another position of employment, and I'm going after my dreams.
Just like that, I gambled any security of my well-being, granting my former company two weeks’ notice, and leaving myself fourteen brief days, less than three hundred and thirty six hours, to arrange a move to New York City.
Today, I breathe in and out, in the same way as I did as a kid riding my bike without handlebars, the biting teeth of gravel and stone gliding beneath me, waiting for me to plunge, to fall, and still, the delicate consciousness of the wind lacing through my hair, the blood pulsing past my ears, my heart hammering with adrenaline, tender against my ribcage.
I arrived here, to this moment now, through a burning longing for a life more gratifying than this; with a captivating book, “A Night Train To Lisbon”, whose key character does precisely what I’m about to; an audacious new year’s resolution, and on the grounds that I have written to you before, and again, about taking risk. I would be but a fraud to advise a life of risk, if I was not courageous enough to lay it all on the line myself.
I feel out of my mind, I have always suspected that I am insane, perhaps, and I suppose I am only following in the pattern of irresponsibility, irrationality, my parents have always held against me. If only they understood my recklessness is dependently born from inherent passion and ambition, that I want to give all that I have, with all of my heart, to raise every soul up, to provide hope for humanity, that I’m not afraid to lose my life out on a limb.
The moment is surreal, I feel as if I drift, in a suspension of sleep, on the verge of awakening, to see with tired eyes that life has the same familiar rhythm, as it did before. My eyes are open though, and I'm about to leave behind all I've ever kept, all I've ever known, thus far.
I can't believe I am the one who just quit her job, spur of the moment, and who in two weeks, proposes to take the night train to New York. To travel away, settled between the pace of the train, the vastness of liberty, and velvet sky.
Goodbye sanctuary, goodbye humdrum days. Hello, escapade.
I know now, that I must let go, to grab something else, and I'm taking my first piece of this immense, ruthless, beautiful world. I'm grabbing life by the horns, danger and all, no matter what becomes of it...
If you could do anything, have anything in your life, right now, what would that be? Whenever you are right now, both figuratively and literally, is it where you want to be? Other thoughts?
P.S. Not to beg, but know of any specific job opportunities in NYC, or have any ideas? I'm looking, since I may need something standard until I can launch my dreams...Any assistance, advice would be greatly appreciated.
Title Quote: Unknown
Picture Credits: Photographer Erika Svensson: http://erikasvensson.com, and photographers from http://ungeheuer.deviantart.com, http://haikman.deviantart.com, and http://mumbojumbo89.deviantart.com.